I have to present in front of my class tomorrow. I have broken down at least 10 times already and I don’t know what will happen tomorrow in front of the class. I am terrified.
I have NEVER been good at class presentations and the fact that there is about 100 kids in my class is fucking terrible. In high school my friends would literally skip me when we had to read stuff, because I got so nervous speaking up in class and this was with a class that is literally like a second family to me.
Not only do I have social anxiety, but I grew up with a bunch of learning problems one of which was my terrible speech impediment. That shit has ruined my confidence. I was made fun of all the time as a child and even some of my closest friends made fun of me and I may laugh along, but it fucking hurts me. And I have told them, but because I mess up just speaking about every single day it is hard not to laugh at me. Trust me even I find it funny sometimes, but most of the times it makes me want to crawl into a ball and cry.
So how is the post creative you ask? IT’S NOT. I am just ranting because I am freaking out over here.
I had Nick actually come over to help me go over my part of the presentation. He was really helpful, but it’s one thing presenting to your boyfriend that you have known your entire life versus presenting to a bunch of strangers who don’t understand how terrible you are at public speaking.
Okay. I don’t have anything else to say… I think. I am getting worked up just writing about this, please wish me luck tomorrow. I am genuinely scared and don’t know if I will survive tomorrow’s presentation.